Psalm 62

I was talking with a friend in church today and he asked me, "Have you not been feeling well?". I didn't know how to respond for I know he could sense something was bothering me. I just went on to say that I had a lot on my mind. There was truth in that response but don't we all have a lot on our mind? I didn't feel that I needed to explain anymore than that, but also noted he was being genuine in his asking since my behavior spoke a more than my words.

Sometimes I wish that people could not tell when I was struggling with something. Sometimes I wish I could keep things all to myself...sometimes I wish I could be that person that was difficult to read. Later that day I was talking with my brother and he was mentioning his frustrations with weeping in church, during worship, etc, and how he wish he would not have those tears as he did not want people to think he was crying out of reasons of shame, etc. Most cries were of joy. And when I mention cries, I am also referring to simple welling of tears, not full blown, need-a-box-of-Kleenex-now-tears:). He said this was something that his pastor was struggling with as well and he had asked God to just please dry up those tears. The pastor just wished that he would not well-up with emotion so often. In praying, God told the pastor, (something along these lines as my short-term memory fails me the exact words), "If I dry your tears then your heart would be hardedned".

"If I dry your tears then your heart would be hardened."

I believe there is much truth in that statement. Unfortunately I am a teary-eyed girl! I am often frustrated with the tears that constantly flow when I am in worship, listening to a sermon, watching a movie, at a wedding. I am referencing to tears of joy. I have no idea why I can cry so easily, when I am excited, joyed! But after hearing how God spoke to the pastor about his tears, I would rather cling to my Kleenex than have a hardened heart. God created me with an emotional response to the joys of my heart. And this may be the reason why my heart is worn on my sleeve-literally:) This is why I cannot wear a disguise in life, He uncovers my heart to others. He wants me to be transparent and for that I am grateful.

As I was at service this evening we sang this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmx9p6vAL1g and as you would assume, a few tears started to stream. The song sings out, "everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, My God". No matter what kind of temporal joy this world steals from us, God has overcome this world, He is everlasting and the sustainer of our perfect joy.

May your joy be complete in Him alone.

Would love to hear you thoughts!! :)

"I have ruled you out of mine (heart)"

This morning I received an email from a friend. As I was reading the email I came across the line; "But if God hasn't ruled me out of your heart, I have ruled you out of mine." Ouch. Those words stung. I read it twice and then went back and re-read it not to make it sting twice or three times but to feel the impact of what was being revealed. Being disowned from the heart of someone. To rule, to have authority and to declare. It has been declared that I have no authentic purpose or place in the decisions of your heart. I am no longer scrolled into your heart and I am no longer the offspring of your hope.

I am sure we have all been there before, we have written or recieved these letters..it seems we are never on the same path as the other. But you know what this letter really revealed? Am I on the same path as Christ? Is my heart aligned with Christs'? What if in the day of coming I am face-to-face with God and He says to me, "I have ruled you out of my heart". Just as in the book of Matthew, Christ mentions twice to His disciples when referring to the day of judgment ("in that day"), "I never knew you, depart from me you evil doers" (Matthew 7:23), "I tell you the truth, I don't know you", (Matthew 25:12). Here God, an omniscient God, declares He never knew them. He ruled them out of His kingdom. He is stating this because it is not just about living a life of good works! Good works alone will not get you into relationship with God and not being in relationship with God will keep you from knowing His heart..being ruled out of His heart and His kingdom. Ouch.

"I have ruled you out of mine". I can accept the rejections of this world. What I cannot accept is the thought to be rejected from God, to be ruled out of His heart. To not know Christ is to not know love. Love of an authentic, agape form. Love that covers all blemishes and heals all wounds. Love that is not based on emotions or feelings. He longs to know us.

In my challenging times of being "ruled out" of one's heart, I am more challenged of the thought that so many are "ruled out" from not knowing the heart of Christ. Don't wait til the coming of the Lord when you will profess, "Lord, Lord!" and He will declare, "I never knew you, depart from me..." He is the only person that will never rule you out of His heart, as long as you seek to know it.

Thoughts? Comments?